Miyavi @ the House of Blues in Los Angeles, CA!

So, October 21, 2011 I will be going to L.A. to get some new photos for my Digi Art class of one of my favorite artists, Miyavi!!! He will be performing at the House of Blues in L.A. and the tickets are going fast so get them while you can!

 Come join me there and to those still involved in my giveaway I will have a new freebie available for you if you can find me there! Good luck and have fun rocking out to Miyavi! I'll post up the pics I get there as soon as I get back, also I'll be posting up the pics I took of Anime Expo 2011 pretty soon! Get pumped, because they're pretty awesome!

Freebies! Freebies! Freebies!! Grab while you can!!

For all my lovely followers (and as an incentive to invite more people) I offer you guys freebies from the wonderful staff at MyMemories.com. For the next two weeks I'll post up a new freebie every Tuesday. Here is your first one! Enjoy! Thank you to all my supporters and the lovelies who keep me going at Deviant Art! =D

My Memories Suite v2 Giveaway - closing soon!!!!

Hello! Hello!

 If you forgot or still want to enter, you still can!!! 

A free full-version of My Memories Suite v2 software!!! 

Do you like scrap-booking, picture editing, or just preserving your sweet memories??? 

Are you a photographer that wants to create wondrous collages? 

Or maybe your a sweet grandmother that wants to make some extra special memories of her grandchildren? 

Enter while you can!!! 

Contest closes Wednesday September 28th, 2011!!!! 

Just for you special lovelies I will choose a winner at midnight September 29th, 2011! 

Enter while you can and don't forget your bonus code from the previous entry!! 

Lastly, anyone who wants to get they're hands on a free commission from me still has the opportunity until October 12th, 2011! I hope to hear from you all soon!

 Good luck contestees!!! 

I look forward to your participation! ^ ^

This contest is brought to you by the lovely staff from: http://www.mymemories.com

e-mail me @:

rage.and.gear@gmail.com

or 

saereil_infinity@yahoo.com

to enter.

Saereil Infinity - Slayer quick sketch

This is a quick sketch with no added details really. I was too lazy to do the shading and didn’t bother adding a real light source. I did the entire thing using Manga Studio Debut 4. Any impressions on my lazy art? Also, the giveaway is still open and so are commissions! Please enter or commission something!!
I'll also give you a little more incentive to enter. I'll upload two new hand drawn pictures and give someone a free commission choice. So, whoever enters first can commission me to draw anything they want!!! O.O
Good deal, right? Until next time my loyal readers!!! ^ ^

Undefined Depth

Making my heart race and cease at the same time.
Causing tears of joy and weeps of sorrow in the same breath.
Instilling two kinds of pain in my chest.
So near, yet so far.
So sweet and sour.
So warm and cold.
I can't place the feelings within me, nor can I express my thoughts of you completely.
The beginning is unclear, but I hope our end never appears.

My Memories Suite v2 Giveaway!!! - How to Enter

I have decided to draw lots after all (seems less hectic for me). If you wish to enter, shoot me an e-mail or message over facebook  (that is if you have my info), after you do that I will give you a number. Be sure to hang onto it until September 28th, 2011. On that date, I will announce the winner and tell that person how to claim their prize.

My Memories Suite v2 Giveaway!!!

So, I have a sponsor for my blog. I am now promoting their product and have a special discount code, that when used will give you 10$ off a 20$ purchase. Every time someone uses the given code for their purchase I get 20$ deposited into my paypal account. If you want to help me out and get a great discount for the MyMemories software use this code: STMMMS57783. This code is only good for MyMemories Suite v2. In addition to this special discount code, I will be hosting a special giveaway! I have yet to determine how I will choose the winner (probably by drawing lots or something). I will post how you can enter to win later on and will probably choose a winner by September 28th, 2011. Good luck, participants!!

My Tech Clutter

It's been a while since I've updated the condition of my room, but here's the arrangement of the different machines that I use to keep up with schooling and work. I must warn you though, my primary comp is a real dinosaur.

It's originally a Windows 2000 that I upgraded to an XP. I've been saving up for a new comp for years now and will finally be able to buy one in a few weeks. Hoping for a Mac or a Sony  *crosses fingers*. I'm also using a Genius Tablet and an HP laptop. All the Korean books and stacks of papers are so I can communicate with my Halmoni and my childhood friends better. I used to be fluent, but after I moved I forgot virtually everything I learned. OTL I have serious memory issues. I used a Canon Digital ELPH to take this.

Midnight Randomness! #2

This is the summarized version of what happened on the 1st. Where I left off was when I went to the second gas station (that was closed) and I wound up blowing my lid and kicking the wall of the building. After that, I walked down the street to head for the AM/PM, but there was road construction so I couldn't even walk down the street in that direction. When I went down the detour, I wound up at a Cul de Sac and had to back track and head two streets down to find an opening that let out to the next horizontal street up, so I could head back down Sierra to get to the AM/PM. When I got back to the complex, after a nightmarish 2.5hrs, the same two dogs were waiting for me; so I had to take the long way around just to get to my front door. When I got inside and back upstairs, I was changing and knocked my purse onto the floor, which woke up my mum and caused her to rush upstairs to yell at me. All-in-all, I thought the trip was worth it. Coffee had never tasted so good. ^_^ Oh! Did I mention that my phobia of dogs has gotten exponentially worse? Because it definitely has! And there's some screaming little gremlin (aka my mum's chihuahua) downstairs right now. I don't think I'll ever be able to get over my fear at this rate.OTL

Procrastinating like all heck! XP

So I have two panels left for the "Midnight Randomness" post, but I am being so lazy about it. Since the new school year began, my sleep schedule has been all messed up and I've been absolutely exhausted recently (I'm told it's due to an iron-deficiency and low blood sugar). I'll probably have that, and another debut character, by Wednesday or Thursday. Until then you can enjoy some old doodles I did while in my maths class a few years ago. I actually added lots of different parts of this every day for a week(why a week? I kept getting caught doodling and had to clear my desk of everything to ensure that I wouldn't continue doing it).

Midnight Randomness!

I was sitting in my room watching The Gazette's live, then I got this horrible craving for a mocha cappuccino. Since, it was still semi-early I figured I could walk down to the corner mart, get a cup, and get back home before anyone noticed I had left. That was sadly not the case. First, I couldn't find any of my pants (some magi being has been stealing those and my boxers). Then, I had to search for my missing wallet. After I was finally done getting dressed, I went outside and got a few feet past my porch and was promptly chased by my neighbors dog for quite a bit of time. After I was able to ditch the bloody beast, I went to the corner mart to find it closed (24/7 my arse!!!). I decided then to go down a few blocks to the CVS and buy an iced frap, but that wasn't happening either. Needless to say, I was cursing up a storm for the next few blocks. I'll upload the rest after I finish drawing it up. 

Character Debuts!!! :DDD

Finally! After much hard work and sweat, my two character debuts! Character #2 is of Slayer von Gruuben of my "Saereil Infinity" manga project. Character #1 is of Saereil Infinity himself of my "Saereil Infinity" manga project.

 

I plan to do the profiles for these characters at a later date, since I'm still coloring in these two and fixing others to upload them. I plan on uploading the finished products onto my deviantart account (you can also check out my old works, too) @: gearraeg.deviantart.com

Two New Character Debuts!!

I have finished two new character sketches and have scheduled the rough sketches to make their debut some time next week. I'm open to some good ol' constructive criticism, since I have been trying out a new art style. I still have no idea when I'll make my comic debut, but I'm guessing some time in December. I'm also thinking of doing another portrait and upping some old ones. I'll also start opening commissions in October, so if you have anything you want to see send me a reference link or picture of a character or scene you want me to draw. Lastly, if you want to see some of my older stuff you can check my deviantart account @ http://www.gearraeg.deviantart.com.

Sleepy Sickness

Tossing, turning, waiting for time to pass by.
Freezing, to the point of shivering.
Burning hot, to the point of sweating.
Cover yourself with a blanket?
No, it's too hot!
Kick off the covers and try to sleep?
No, it's too cold!
Shivering to the core, but there's a small fire being pitched in the pit of my stomach.
So feverish and dizzy.
Feeling like a zombie.
So tired, but I can't sleep.
It hurts so much!
Ugh....
Need to fight the urge to vomit.
Need to hold it in.
Don't puke. Don't puke. Don't puke. Don't puke!
Urgh...!
This feels awful!
When will it  pass?
I'm so tired...

Debut character!!

This is the first character for my comic. Name is pronounce "Rake", and I'm currently working on the rest of the character profiles. I haven't edited this pic, yet. Considering it, though, but probably won't since it is just a rough sketch.

Title and plot issues

I am currently facing a small dilemma. I've been considering writing and posting my second comic forever (the first one is still in the making, just need to ink it properly and upload it), but now I can't come up with a title or filler for it. I know how to begin and end the first chapter, but the space between is bothering me. Also, I don't know what borders to use for each page. Text boxes are fine and the script is ready to go....... I probably should just invest in a new CD drive for my comp. so I can use the Manga Debut program. I've been letting it gather dust in my trunk for too long, now. Lastly, I don't know if I should post my comics and novel on this site or one of the many others I use. I've been thinking of starting an account on comicgenisis or smackjeeves since they're popular and, as far as I know, they're free.

Forgotten Remembrance

Faint images rushing past closed eyes.
A familiar scene that I can't quite recall.
A sense of De Ja Vu.
I don't know what it is, but somehow I vaguely recall it.
A face blurred by years of repression;
I can hear a muffled voice, but whose is it?
Heavy, ragged breathing
Panting... but who is it coming from?
A faint cry from a small figure.
Yes, a child!
Weeping in the middle of the floor,
But why...?
I can hear something that I can somehow recognize.
A wet obscene squishing.
Like an animal devouring a corpse.
An obscure image.
I can't quite place a time or date, but it was definitely before they started to fade.
Yes, before the years of forget.
I wonder what it was...
I recall a sickening feeling.
A feeling of utter disgust;
A figure is there.
I don't know who it is,
but just trying to recall even a small detail of the person fills me with rage.... and regret.
I can't place why it's there, but there is a desire for strength.
Ah, that's it.
I remember now, clearly.
But.... it's definitely something better off forgotten.

She's My Dead Sister, But Still My Best Friend {A True Story of a Lost Sister}

I sit here in this lonely room
I live here in this dark gloom
I never thought you would leave
You were my best friend and part of my family
When you passed I watched you, not feeling anything
When you breathed your last breath I didn't cry for you
It didn't sink in at first, but later it started to make me sad, then I started to fill myself with rage
I struck myself with sad thoughts that it was my fault
"Why did you just sit there?!" I thought to myself
"YOU COULD'VE DONE MORE, YOU ASSHOLE!!" I screamed in my mind
If you were still alive, I would be so happy
If you could see all the stuff I want to show you, I would be so happy
You were much more than a sister, you were my best friend. 

Struggle

I remember at some point we were all past help.

Just slowly falling further and further away......

drifting deeper into the dark until we were completely blind.

We were all alone.

Nobody took our hands, or gave us air to stop from drowning.

We were all just alone.........

every one of us.

The only thing that saved us was that we couldn't fall any more.

We finally touched ground, and marched forward in our darkness.

Each and everyone of us was left alone in our own darkness.

We chose it ourselves........

our own darkness to stumble in.

We all know this pain.

Each of us branded with our own mistake, and constant reminder.

We fell alone, tripping over our own feet on purpose.

We continued to fall with no one attempting to save us.

We were all abandoned for our mistakes.

Not until we finally saw that we didn't have to continuously stumble in that darkness did we reach the ladder....... the old, rusty ladder; 

climbed and rusted with the blood of the ones that came before us.

As we ascended, the pegs broke and the ladder wobbled viciously, but we were still alone trying to climb up so desperately.

"I will reach you!!" we each screamed into the darkness.

Our voices carried alone, echoing in our darkness that we created.

We struggled up that ladder so long that we eventually forgot how to climb back down.

We could no longer descend.

After us, many will fall.......

but we, and they after, will always find our, and their own, way to the top...... alone

Alone we fall, with no one attempting to save us; and alone we climb that treacherous ladder.

Even now we're still climbing alone. 

Even after all these years I'm still climbing.

I, alone; 

her, him, even more than that.

We, for a long, long time, 

but we all decided that our own arm, our own legs, will pull us back up to the top.

We, and they, never got help.

Alone........

Everyone will, and have fallen......

And every single one has been, and will, climb back to the top, forever.

Even after our hands are bloody and blistered;

even after our arms have become tired and worn to the point where we wish they'd fall off;

even after our feet have been imprinted with the shape of the pegs of that rusty, bloody, breaking ladder;

and our legs seem as though they will forever be stuck in that awkward, uncomfortable position,

we will always continue to climb. 

All of us alone........

 

Regret

 A sudden realization.
It tightens itself in my chest, and wraps tightly around my heart.
Stretching and gripping my lungs; making it nearly impossible to breathe.
It's building, welling up inside.
There's so much that it feels like I might explode.
The love, anger, and sorrow that I caused myself, and others.
"I wish it could've been with you!"
"If only I went there instead!"
"Why couldn't I have argued earlier on?!"
Second-guessing all the time.
Always so indecisive.
I wish everything could be easier.......... but then again, I don't.
I have my regrets as a reminder of things I want, love......... and have already lost and can never regain.

My New Home, My Broke Town............ My Worthless Shitty

 The polluted skies, the cracked and broken buildings, and the oh-so lifeless humans maintaining it all.

A sky that is never completely night and never shows a single star no matter how high you climb.

A city of lifeless cement and living weeds slowly killing all the green that surrounds it.

The undisciplined youth ruining my perfect silence.

The unforgiving elders trying so desperately to destroy lives that are clung to with all their might.

The students who only learn how to be jaded, or to jeer their slowly breaking peers.

A disease spreading like the plague through the minds of the, already, ill civilians.

Lives that are stolen while attempting to save another.

Chapels that only know how to condemn instead of save.

Memories of a broken home flooding into an already overflowing mind.

Rage and confusion slitting the wrists of a broken doll and hiding that shame under a black wristband.

A deteriorating body clinging desperately to a false life.

Eyes that refuse to close for fear that they might reject the morning sun.

Using only a blue screen to illuminate the paper I bleed my thoughts out on.

Comfort found only in lifeless, soulless....... heartless stitchings.

Suffering from the heat and feverish dreams that follow.

Wishing for an icy prison to surround her home.

Hoping for a new cold, gray, watery shower to fall on these broken buildings.

A cry falling upon deaf ears,

tears falling before a blind audience.

Purely platonic relationships being practiced in the dark.

One-sided feelings never being returned.

Sanity being kept for the sake of her future,

and for the home of her dear companions.

A poor, crying, broken doll being kept in a glass case inside a dark room.

This is my life.

My one and only home......... castle.......... cage.

This is the broken world I live in.

My private hell......... 

My rotting shitty.

Infinite & Eternal {Halting Thoughts, Ponders, and Wonders}

The unthinkable has happened, that has nearly stopped me from thinking.
My mum has thought, too.
Her thinking nearly, has nearly, stopped her from thinking.
Those thoughts that were nearly ended.
Those thoughts that I know nothing of.
That thinking that was nearly stopped.
Those thoughts, ponders, wonders, queries, ideas, and conjectures that could've been severed last night.
Those many things that could have, and would have, been; but weren't.
By the grace that has stopped me.
My name was never "MERCY", but "RAGE".
My dear conflicting, and yours, too.
The thoughts that conflict struggle.
My thoughts and yours do not meld.
For I choose "ETERNITY" and you choose "INFINITY".
But that 'father' for the power to "CHOOSE" and "CHANGE".
So, dear mother, please choose the "change", and in-turn change your choice to choose "ETERNITY".

Obscene (Dark Thoughts)

Would you like to see something twisted and distorted?

Something so grotesque that your stomach cannot support it?

Just the thought makes you vomit and the actual sight is blinding and morbid.

It's so disturbing that it makes you sob without control.

Something that makes it so painful, like it's stealing your soul.

The pure insanity drives you mad.

It's so obscene that it's beyond sad.

As I have said, I enjoy drawing and have recently(towards the end of last year) taken up doing portraits. I been trying my hardest to make them look realistic, but this is the closest I've come. All the other ones, pretty much, look like I'm drawing some anime character in vivid detail. If you don't know who this is supposed to be I wouldn't blame you. Here I was trying to draw Satoshi from the VK(Visual Kei) band Girugamesh.

This is the picture that I used as reference for the portrait.

100% Skepticism

There's a loaded gun pressed to the back of my head.
I can't turn to look at the gunman's face.
"Don't worry I won't let anyone hurt you." says the gunman warmly.
(I take a few steps forward)
I can feel their breath on the back of my neck.
"It's alright. Keep going. I'm right here for you." The gunman is grinning now.
(I start forward again and pause)
"Come on, don't hesitate. I'm right here with you." The gunman is giggling a bit, now.
(I walk forward without hesitation, then waver in my steps)
"Come now, I've got you. You can trust me. Let's go. They're already there." The gunman is now cackling like a madman, but still I trust this person.
(I continue along the way for quite a while, then stop to catch my breath)
"Don't give up now! Look! There they are! Come on! I'm right here with you!" The gunman has bound my wrists now and is grinning from ear to ear.
(I start running to meet everyone)
"Hello!"
"Took you long enough."
"Let's start now!"
"Wait! I have to reply to this text."
Everyone's gathered together and the gunman has cocked the gun.
"Come on! Come on! Come on!" Everyone is cheering now. The gunman is laughing again.
"Come, look at me properly now."
(I carefully turn in place)
Shock overwhelms me as the gun fires straight through to my heart.

Tight-rope of Glass

Tip-towing every time we meet

Holding my breath , even when I need to breathe

All the time when I see you I contemplate whether to keep or break this fragile relationship.

Whether to greet or avoid you?

Whether to go or stay when given the option?

Whether to cry or smile?

Get angry or be happy?

Every time I feel happy it quickly ends.

Just a like a bird with glass wings

Just like trying to skate on thin ice

Just like trying to builds a tower of cards, when there's a breeze.

So fragile, delicate, and frail.

Every time I see you the question arises

Whether to hold out my hand, or stay wedged against the wall?

Whether to knock on the door or run away?

Whether to smile in excitement or scream in frustration?

Just like trying to fly with glass wings

Just like trying to walk on cracked ice

I'm happy to hear your voice

I'm scared to hear your voice

Trying to smile

Attempting to keep my composure.

Is it normal?

Is this average?

Papa, Grandma, Uncle?

What are you?

Are we family, friends, or just acquaintances?

Do you even know of my existence?

Am I even here to you?

Talking to you is like suffocating

It's painful

So painful

Please, just a little longer

Please don't abandon it yet

Whether to break this little connection we have?

Whether to continue standing on this unstable pedestal?

Whether I should attempt to escape, again?

What should I do with this?!

This rage!

This sorrow!

This happiness!

This utter despair...

I love you?

I hate you?

I don't know what to say.

Should I greet you?

Should I even try to meet you?

Where would this lead?

It hurts so much

Just a bit more

Just a little bit more

Just let me be happy a bit more.

So dizzying.

So confusing.

Feels like wings being ripped off.

Like falling through ice

Like standing on top of a house of cards.

This is like walking across a tight-rope of glass, as thin as thread.